Google+ LISTENING TO THE SQUEAK INSIDE art by Kirstin McCulloch of LilliBean Designs: ☆Procrastination and Lessons from Bean...

Sunday, August 8, 2010

☆Procrastination and Lessons from Bean...

So I am not sure what I should be writing about, or even what is the purpose of my ramblings, why do I feel the need to share my journey, or does there even have to be a plan?

I find that writing this blog is much harder and much scarier than I first thought. I assumed that it would be similar to writing in my previous paper journals, where I would just blurt out what ever was on my mind in a random jumble of thoughts and ideas. But I feel that this should be more organised and coherent and possibly the thought of an 'audience' has given me a kind of stage fright. Could I just be procrastinating again and letting the fear take over?

This blog is about rediscovering my creativity - I am making a very public and truthfully, for me, a very scary statement to the world that I am going to follow through on the promises I have made to myself and my family, to live a creative life. I suppose I should relax and let it evolve on its own….maybe

Ever since I have been consciously living, not going through the motions of the day so to speak, I am finding it easier to have creative moments each day. I guess I am consciously making time - so when Bean* and Bug* are asleep, while Bean is playing quietly, and Bug is kicking on the play mat, or instead of siting mindlessly in front of the box overnight, I am drawing, painting, sketching and reading the numerous art and craft books that I have collected over the years.

The other day Bean and I sat down at the kitchen table to paint - me painting mdf letters of their names for their toy boxes, and her in her sketch book. Now Bean is my eldest child and she has always, always been fussy when it comes to her hands. She just does not like to have them dirty. If she has dirt, or food, or paint or a marker pen spot on her hands she fusses and has to wash them - or rather we have to wash them for her.

But that day she very slowly and very bravely started to finger paint! She started off slowly - so slowly, the tip of a finger here, then the pad there, then her whole hand until finally she was holding her hands up to me so that I could cover them in huge globs of cold squishy paint and she was slapping her hands down on the paper, swirling them around laughing and having a fantastic time - forgetting in the moment that her hands were.. well, dirty.

I was so proud of her letting go of her fear and being involved in the moment and I decided that I need to take a leaf out of my two year olds guide to being creative - Let go of the fear and live in the moment….

Of course three hours later when she had dinner on her hands she demanded they be washed straight away.

So this week I am going live in the moment and let go of the fear… and we'll see how that goes!


*P.S Bean and Bug are the names we gave our girls during my pregnancy. Bean is two and Bug is two months! I image they will feature often in my upcoming posts!

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